Lizzie Cundy (48) hosts the International Film Festival at Sun Siyam Iru Fushi, Maldives. She manages to get a bit of relaxing time in a hammock over the sea, 09/08/2018.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizziecundy/
#TheFappening
Nude Celebrity Leaks!
Lizzy Cunty more like.
She was incredibly rude to Mrs Clarkson at the latest Middlesbrough Swingers Club summer party. I was happily fucking Mrs C in the dungeon in front of Derek and Alan, when Ms Cunty came in and insisted on pulling my cock out of Mrs C’s cunt and finishing me off with her mouth. The cheeky cunt - you’re meant to ask, Ms Cunty, not help yourself to someone else’s spunk.
Next time you do that, a lifetime ban awaits.
WTF?!
Which bit is unclear, Bruce?
He hasn't been the same since I molested him in the Bat Cave. (That is a euphemism, by the way.)
Unforgivable JC. One to keep an eye on!
The extreme bloody nerve of some people, Jeremy. I bet she didn't even pay you afterwards for your dedicated services...
Yeah, that festival in the Maldives is right up there with Cannes. *eye roll*
p.s. Why the bloody hell can't we use emojis?
Because we're not gayers.
You hurt my feelings. Matt LeBlanc wouldn't have done that. Or even Richard Hammond. James May, maybe, but he's an arsehole.
It wasn't meant to upset you, Shaz; it was just meant as a reminder. And James is alright once you get to know him. Le Blanc though, he's an absolute cunt.
Just as long as it's not Russel Brand. That bloke is the cunt to end all fucking cunts. And he boasts about being better at shagging women than you. If they gave a day in jail for murdering arseholes like that, I'd be warming up my high-powered rifle sharpish. Ah well, we can only dream...
Hey Spanky, I'm afraid JC is wrong, I am a complete dick. But to get to the point, I don't think even a cunt like Russel Brand would presume to be better in bed than Jeremy. Just the rest of us shrivelled dick mortals.
PPS Spanky. I hear that while Hammond and I were getting our prostate massage from Mrs Clarkson (after HE let us all down at the orgy), you received yours directly from Jeremy. PPPS Jeremy is right about Matt Le Blanc. He is a total cunt. NEVER let him give you a prostate massage.
James, I have no interest in ever having a prostate check from that man; his hands are incredibly cold and he doesn’t even smile when he puts a finger in all sorts of places. (Don’t ask how I know, suffice to say it has something to do with me now acquiring my rectal zygmoidascope.) And as for Jeremy servicing me, at least he allowed me to use Mrs Clarkson’s fluffer services afterwards to keep me on the straight and narrow. That woman has the most amazing teeth...